Using Other People's Kids: Diary of an MFA Journey

Lots of new things.

2009-11-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

So after losing my hard drive quite unexpectedly a couple weeks ago (go figure), and a lot of other insane things happening this month, I haven't been updating, but I have been being productive. Mostly drawing, but I did manage to squeeze in a painting. For the next couple weeks I'm going to be focusing on painting again.

When my hard drive died, I did a blind contour of an old picture of my nephew Ian. I took that pencil drawing and redrew it on an 18" x 24" canvas, and then redrew over the pencil drawing and turned it into a 14" x 17" pen drawing. I really like it, but I think I like the painting better because of the curves and color.

I actually have a paper sculpture from college I'm going to do a makeover on, and I think it'll turn out pretty interesting. Right now it's just white, but I'm going to add some texture and oil color and see what happens.

I also added another blind contour 11" x 14" pen drawing I did a few months back that I think I'll use. I always liked the ear section in this one.

I also did two pencil drawings, not sure if I'll use them yet, but since picking up another 14" x 17" sketch pad (my favorite size), I wanted to put it to good use. I tried to do charcoal versions of these on pastel paper, but they didn't work out as well as I wanted, and I missed using pencil. Plus I'm rusty using those, and I need to revisit that technique. The first one I used a mechanical pencil, the second a 3B graphite pencil.

Star's Nephew!

2009-11-10T11:26:00.000-08:00

Pretty fun picture to do, I really like the way I handled his shirt...and his hand. 14" x 17" in pencil!

Back to blind contour!

2009-11-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

I love this one! The line "shell" was sitting in my drawing pad for three months, and I decided to shade it to life. Blind contours are great to do, because #1, they're random and quick, and #2, I can shade them mindlessly with a .005 size Prismacolor black pen for hours on my deck. I go through a pen every two weeks doing these, so every time I go to Jerry's I buy about four of them (the other sizes don't work as well). I use the line's thickness to show depth, shading, and to bring out what I feel are the important shapes. Crosshatching was always one of my favorite techniques (my college drawing teacher had me go to her class and do a demonstration), criss-crossing lines over one another to create shading. Not sure why I made the top of her head look like that, but I just rolled with it. Might be because I was listening to the Foo Fighters at the time.

Here's another version of her, but I haven't told her mom I've been using her pictures. Oops. I'll drop her a line and show her this one. The one above might freak her out. It would freak me out. Well, probably not, but that's just me. This one is definitely going in my final portfolio, but I may add a background just for the sake of having one. I'm horrible with backgrounds, so I need to start fixing that side of my artwork.

Bad picture, but I created this one a few days ago, and haven't decided whether or not to do anything else to it, because I really, really like the line quality. My mind says to fill it in, but my gut is saying "hold off". So I'm holding off for now. I DO have a great painting in mind however, since I haven't painted in a couple weeks and am itching to start one. This one will be very different from what I have been working on. As Dave Grohl says, "Done, done, and on to the next one."

They're hands, I swear.

2009-11-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

If you've never gone through a week of mourning and a funeral, it's a very tough time, and I'm just getting back to normal. After being in Burlington non-stop for a full week, drawing and painting have been the furthest things from my mind, so today I decided to do a really quick drawing to get going again. It looks like her arms morph into a big piece of cabbage, and all I can say is no, that's not what I meant to do, but it happened. She's actually holding a flower, but apparently since I had some sweet mountain cabbage the other day I have that on my mind.
It was amazing by the way. Seriously, go through the mountains to the Virginia border and scoop some up. I'm telling you.

Anyway, I may work on this later, or scrap it completely and work on some other old drawings I just found that had been tucked away in one of my many drawing pads. I'm thinking those will work better then this above one did.

The exciting part is that my letters of recommendation are starting! Woooooo so excited to get those.

Maybe a painting this week. We'll see if any unforeseen dramas happen.

Working on Jack.

2009-10-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

Jack will probably become a painting at some point, right now he's just a drawing, but it turned out pretty decent. His hands are a little off, but right now I'm leaving it. 14" x 17" in pencil. The backgrounds still need work in my drawings, but I haven't done many drawings yet to really work on that yet. I'm thinking I'll try a few more blind contour drawings, plus a few bigger ones. And I'm itching to start another painting, preferably big, because the smaller ones aren't working as well. Time to hit up Jerry's this week and snatch up some more canvas!

Alexandria!

2009-10-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

A very quick drawing of Alexandria, nothing special but I still like it. Been spending a LOT of time cleaning my house lately, so the drawings may take longer than expected! Also decided to do something funky to the table I was working on, so I'm excited to see how it turns out.

The South African Boy.

2009-10-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is finally finished, and although not my fave, at least it's done! Look much different from before though, sadly. I think I'm painted out for the moment, time for the drawings.

I have OS.

2009-10-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

I don't think anyone procrastinates more than I do. My problem isn't motivation, I'm definitely motivated to finish up my portfolio. Many times I start a painting, and I really REALLY like it about twenty minutes in, and think, you know, I think I'll be done in the next hour! That hour turns into two, then three, then suddenly it's day five and it's completely overworked. Not that I work on a painting for five days straight...I'd need a miracle for that. I'll stare at it for a couple hours, then go do something else. After a while, I come back, and put one stroke of paint on it, then a few more, decide that wasn't a good idea, try to fix it, and end up hating the canvas two hours later. I call it OS, or "Overworking Syndrome", and I get it quite often. Usually I stop on a canvas after only an hour or so because I know I'll get a case of OS, so I let it sit a while. I've started a new painting, and I really wanted to call it done today, but of course all of the above happened and so I just had to stop, because sometimes a canvas will look so much better or different three days later. I may hide it in my closet for a few days, then pull it out with a fresh pair of eyes and see what I can do. Otherwise I'll keep staring at it sitting on my easel and raise my blood pressure.

This picture was taken this morning, and now looks completely different, but I wanted to document the changes. My first time working with this skin tone, and I'm really, really liking the color I'm getting...although I really can't tell from this image.

He was from a picture taken in South Africa by a good friend of mine. I really liked his gaze, and I wanted to capture that in his eyes, but so far I haven't really been able to. After five more hours of working on this today, I still haven't. But I have hope!

Long weekend ahead. Saturday is too-busy-for-art day, so Sunday will be more of a productive time for me. I'm starting the drawings next week! Can't wait.

Kyle and Hazel Finals

2009-10-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

So this is Hazel. What an incredibly hard canvas to figure out, geez. But, I'm pretty happy with the results, and am glad to move on to the next painting! Maybe it's the background, but this has kind of a religious undertone to me...and of course the ear works better.

Most of the problems came from the hand, so because of that, the next portraits will be from the neck up, until I muster enough courage to tackle more fingers.

And here's Kyle! This one went a lot smoother, and I'm pretty pleased with the results. I may tinker with it more, but I'm letting it simmer for now. I may have to snatch up some more artist's panels at Jerry's if they're still on sale this upcoming weekend because I'm really starting to like them. My painting turned more comical, but I think the style fits the pose.

I'm also tackling a table for the next couple days, in oil paint. It needs a makeover. Results will follow!

Productive weekend!

2009-10-12T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well, sort of. Actually, I was able to quasi-finish a painting in about 5 hours, which for me is impressive. I also decided my Hazel part 2 painting is in need of a break, so I think she'll have to simmer while I do a couple more paintings and drawings. Her hand was messing me up so much I got frustrated and decided maybe I'd just overhaul the whole painting, however drastic that sounds. Oh well, it's my painting. So I'm taking a break from it just in case I do something I'm mad at myself for later.

Kyle, my friend Steve's son, had an awesome pic of him done which I had to paint. I used an artist's panel (kind of like painting on a smooth piece of treated wood) and a really big brush, and love the results so far! It's going to have to let it dry for a day or so, then I can finish up his teeth, but it's going very well. I'm thinking of doing a smaller portrait painting using the same technique. I have much more freedom in the stroke, and shows much more emotion in my opinion. Very excited about this. Pretty sure this all resulted after being so annoyed at Hazel and wanting to throw the canvas out the window. It's good to channel that energy into something creative sometimes.

Also, I couldn't resist, and redid the Sawyer portrait, mostly because after working with Hazel, I realized all their outfits were green, and that weirded me out a bit. Maybe it means something. Anyway, I gave him a burnt orange shirt and like it MUCH much better. Also cleaned up his eyes and face a bit. Now I can say it's finished. For the moment.

On a side note, two of my favorite influences, which I reference in books when I feel stuck, are Lucian Freud and Alice Neel. Anyone not familiar with them really need to look at their amazing work.

Alice Neel Estate Gallery

Lucian Freud Paintings

On a second side note, if I ever have kids and get them one of those foam shape kits where kids follow the outside picture and glue the foam together to make the picture, I'm going to make sure they don't see the picture first. My boyfriend's 8-year-old niece had one of those kits over the weekend, and was determined the only thing she could make from it was a couple flowers in the flower pot they showed on the outside of the package. Then I made it into a face, and blew her mind. By the end of the hour, we had glued together a monster, much cooler than a flower pot.
Just something to think about.

Hazel Painting Part 2

2009-10-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

Progress has been slow on this painting, however, I'm liking the way it's going. The hands need some love, but the far left one is being made up because once again, the original hand wouldn't fit. I almost wish I hadn't done anything to the hand today, but I have faith it will get better. Her face is almost done, but needs a few more tints of color, preferably Naples Yellow and Alizarin Crimson. I have an unhealthy obsession with Naples Yellow, as it is the one color (whether acrylic or oil---by the way, my only Naples Yellow acrylic of choice would be Windsor & Newton flow acrylics brand. It has the most delicious texture and color smoothness. I stock up on it all the time at Jerry's Artarama) which I can blend with just about anything to give it a highlighted warm tone. The Alizarin Crimson comes courtesy of Bob Ross's Painting Kit, which I've had for years, but hardly used. I never knew the power of his Alizarin Crimson until using it in a lip color and skin mixture. I watched his shows growing up, and can only hope he's proud of the way I'm using his patented color, even though I'm not using it to paint a cabin in the woods. Maybe the only reason it's working so well is because it's from Bob Ross. If I bought another brand of Alizarin Crimson in another brand it may not be as amazing. I'll find out soon though, because my small tube is emptying fast.

The background color happened by accident, and I'm not sure what exactly to do with it. I'm not even sure how I made it, but I will say it's the best spatial color I've made in quite some time. My palette had some leftover darker blue tones I didn't need anymore, so I scraped, mixed them together and added white. I'm guessing it's a combination of Payne's Gray, Burnt Umber and Prussian Blue with a tinge of Naples Yellow, because I put Naples Yellow in everything. Now I'm thinking of adding a window behind her, a wall, something. I'm stuck at the moment. Any ideas??? The shirt needs a ton of work, but at least I have paint down to work with, and I'm kind of digging the green color so far. Hopefully tomorrow it will be finished!

More Hazel.

2009-10-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

I’m kind of in love with another of Anna’s photos of Hazel, so I created a drawing AND am going to use it for a painting. I'm thinking this sketch (14" x 17" in pencil) will be part of my MFA application portfolio. I really need to draw more. Ironically, drawing is my first love, and I used to hate painting. I couldn’t stand it. All I did was draw. Nowadays it’s reversed, although I don’t HATE drawing, just don’t practice as often as I should. Maybe having a sketchbook with me at all times would help, just in case something shows up in my day I need to record.

One thing I really love about this is her ear. I LOVE drawing and painting ears because I think it’s the one body part you can really showcase your talent of line and shading curves. And you can really screw up an ear if you aren’t paying attention. And there’s so much you can do with an ear in art. I think it looks amazing in pencil. Look at the depth! Whether abstract or realistic, ears are very exciting to create. Vincent Van Gogh should have kept his in formaldehyde and used it as a reference. Seriously. But enough about ears.

Her oil painting is in the early stages, but I’m really digging it so far. I actually love her hand, and I’m not even done. I’m hoping that I won’t overdo something and turn the hand into a disaster. The shirt however, I’m not sure what to do with because it’s a hard fabric and design to recreate in paint. Definitely will be a challenge (this one is also 18” x 24”, apparently my favorite size). Not sure about the background either, as my backgrounds are always pretty low-key. Also, not in love with her ear yet. Needs work.

Two new paintings!

2009-10-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

Here's Sawyer, my friend's new baby boy. He's an 18" x 24" oil painting I'm not quite sure is finished because I feel like it could be much better. For the moment I'm leaving it, because I'm sure in two weeks I'll look at it again and decide what's wrong. Jessie loved the painting, which makes me feel better, but I'll probably end up changing it anyways.

...Now Molly is a little different, mostly because she's 11" x 14" in oil, so I figured the small size would add to the pose. However, I didn't draw her right on the canvas, and ended up having to make up parts of her pose. The painting really isn't my best, and her hand still looks like a claw to me, but once again, I'm letting it simmer. I hate painting or drawing hands. They never look right. But if I don't overcome at least one struggle in a piece of artwork, I haven't accomplished or learned anything.
And I'm learning extreme patience in the art of painting hands.

The start of my oil painting.

2009-10-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I posted a Facebook message asking for some inspirational photos of kids in poses that weren’t “smiley”. I wanted substance; unexpected moments caught that would make awesome paintings. I like using children because they are one of the foremost authorities on expressions. They aren’t contrived or forced, they’re real and fresh. So I had a lot of people replying with either a “Go see my photos and use what you need” or “Here’s my picture, hope you can use it!” My friend Anna’s little daughter, Hazel, is a wonderful study, mostly because Anna takes amazing photos. This is one of the results of many to come, and the first oil painting I've done in years. Measuring 18" x 24", she's really larger than life, and I was pretty excited I could still rock some oil paint.

The first projects after unemployment.

2009-10-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

A few months ago in my “What The Hell Am I Going To Do Now That I’m Unemployed But Can Draw Things In The Meantime While Receiving My Severance Package” stage, I started these works. Mostly having to do with blind contour, I would draw a photo without looking at the paper, then design the artwork around those lines. I’d paint watercolor paper, then cut shapes out of that paper and glue them onto the painting, sometimes painting over that. I’d paste blank paper on the canvas and draw into the painting. The 3-D ones used wire with newspaper to create paper mache effects, which I’d gesso and repaint. These really were a way to shaking up my skills, to see what I could squeeze out of my listless brain. Some I loved, others I destroyed. And most were created while watching The Barefoot Contessa and Down Home with the Neelys on the Food Network, or Cold Case and Bones on TNT this summer, which may have influenced some of these works, I don’t know. You decide.

Blind contour pen sketch of my mom from 1969, measuring 14" x 17".
One of my faves, I really enjoy the expression on her face.

From an art book, this one is an 18” x 24” blind contour drawing, and really was a labor of love. Also, a lot of mindless crosshatching with the pen (creating crisscross lines for shading...that was an intense activity, and I went through several .005 size Prismacolor pens).

One of my favorites. This was an 8” x 10” acrylic mixed media painting also from a blind contour sketch. The subject came from one of my art books, and for some reason I’ve always liked this one, maybe because everything seemed to flow so easily…that and I really liked the way her ear turned out.

This is Kyle, my boyfriend’s cousin, and one done during my 3-D stage. 14” x 17” blind contour acrylic mixed media on canvas board. Very fun to do, and I'm thinking I'll do another one of these maybe with oil painting.

I'm using other people's kids, and not in a creepy way.

2009-10-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

And no, I don't feel bad about it, and no, it's definitely not what you think. Or it might be. In any case, over the years I've been trying to hone my art skills, using still lifes, nude models, Master drawings, family photos, and so on. I applied for several schools back in 2002, but none of them wanted to hang with me. So what did I do? I got discouraged, burned out, and stopped trying. Bad, I know, but at the time it felt right. So I got into retail...really, really got into retail. Almost seven years worth of moving up. Once I became a full time manager, I hardly had time to do anything. I started doing murals for people around the area to make some extra money in the meantime. My serious art however, wasn't going anywhere. A couple acrylic canvases here and there. All I had were the same blah results, and using the same subjects each time wasn't helping. Becoming increasingly bored, I put the brakes on any artistic progress for a looooong time.

Then I was laid off in March 2009.

Up until then, work was my rib eye, and art a Caesar's side salad. Art only happened when I had time and felt motivated, which was next to never with 9+ hour days. Now, I had tons of time to do whatever the hell I wanted. I went for walks, started an herb garden, and began working out. I even started flossing. Over the summer I volunteered at the art museum's "Art Camp" for preschoolers and pre-teens and loved it. My bank account wasn't desperate, and since my baby factory is closed for the moment, I enjoyed teaching art for other people's kids for free. I took their pictures and used those photos for drawing references. Then I joined Facebook, and suddenly I had access to tons of kid photos! Sounds creepy, but for me I finally had motivation and inspiration to get my art act together.

Now I'm looking to use these photos as a ticket to my MFA, something I've always wanted. So far, my friends' reactions to my drawings and paintings have been positive, and I feel good knowing they'll put my work up in their house. Plus it's free for them! I've been experimenting with blind contour drawing, 3-D work, even paper cutouts. I've started a love affair with oils after using acrylic for so long. My application deadline is in three months, and I'm rocking out an all new body of work. Maybe I'll shop my new works towards some galleries too. Anyways, this is my journey towards my goal and all the struggles that tag along. I'm using this as sort of a diary, to help me along and keep me motivated. And comments are always welcome.